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Humorous Bumper Stickers

"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."

"Keep honking, I'm reloading."

"Guns don't kill people, postal workers do."

"Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit."

"I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen."

"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"

"My kid had sex with your honor student."

"If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished."

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock."

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."

"He who laughs last thinks slowest"

"Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"