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Corporate Lessons


Lesson One:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day?"

The crow answered, "Sure, why not."

So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral to the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.



Lesson Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

So the turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

After a fortnight, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral to the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.



Lesson Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and shat upon it.

The frozen bird lay in the pile of cow dung and, to his surprise, began to feel warmer. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there feeling warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A cat walking nearby heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Upon discovering the bird under the pile of cow dung, the cat promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals to the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of deep shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.




An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels, some climbing up, some climbing down, some fooling around and some are doing nothing at all.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.