WORDS FOR THE 2000's
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly
in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to
see what's going on.
SQUIRT THE BIRD: To transmit a signal to a satellite.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed
out and whiny.
SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation
from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the
class; the rest were just tourists.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from
ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient
person in an office or work group.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than
CHIPS & SALSA: Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well,
first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or
GOOD JOB: A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" Job. A well-paying
job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that
they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are
annoying but You find your-self unable to stop watching them.
The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's shameful
video Grand Jury testimony is another.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck
out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach
all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance,
the arm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously
pressing the Control key, the Command Key, the Return Key,
and the Power On key.
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of
ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill
after a meal, we each owe $8, but all anybody's got are yuppie
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
DILBERTED: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived
from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip
character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised
the specs for the fourth time this week."
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error
message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested
document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him
. . . he's 404, man."
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly
the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints,
strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in "We were so lost
in generica that I forgot what city we were in."
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake.